The change starts from within.
pre-1920's era, writings focused on fixing ones character ethic (primary). Since then, the focus has been primarily on personality ethic (secondary).
Character Ethic=long term success, while the Personality Ethic= short term success. Together=lifetime success, which is maintained by principles.
1. fairness; The state of being fair, or free form spots or stains, as of the skin; honesty, as of dealing; candor, as of an argument, etc.
2. honesty; fairness and straightforwardness of conduct, adherence to the facts
3. integrity; firm adherence to a code of especially moral or artistic values, incorruptability
4. dignity; the quality or state of being worthy, honored, or esteemed
5. quality; degree of excellence
6. potential; existing in possibility : capable of development into actuality
7. growth; progressive development
How do YOU practice these principles? (Practices are for specific situations, while principles are universal applications.)
We see things not as they are, but as we are conditioned to see them. Once we understand the importance of our past conditioning, we can experience a paradigm shift in the way we see things.
Our character is a collection of our habits, and habits have a powerful role in our lives. Habits consist of knowledge, skill, and desire. Knowledge allows us to know what to do, skill gives us the ability to know how to do it, and desire is the motivation to do it.
Focus on being independent, to stray away from dependance, and closer to interdependence. Humans are like spiders that make webs, everything we need is inside of us, but we need outside resources to make it possible.
First 3 habits focus on independence:
1. Be proactive; proactive people focus their efforts on things that they have control over, and it turn expand their circle, whereas reactive people focus their efforts on things they have no control over, which shrinks their areas of interest
--> Control: We have direct control over problems caused by our own behavior, and we can solve these problems by changing our habits. We have indirect control over problems related to other people's behavior. We can solve these problems by using various methods of human influence, such as empathy, confrontation, example, and persuasion. Many people use methods such as fight or flight. For the problems over which we have no control, first we must recognize we have no control, then gracefully accept the fact and make the best of the situation.
2. Begin with the end in mind: visual imagery
3. Put first things first: goals vs. distractions
After understanding these techniques, learn how to incorporate these skills with interdependence:
4. Thing win/win: if not a win on both sides, then no deal and let it be.
5. Seek first to understand, then to be understood: requires active listening
6. Synergize: put your minds together and collaborate. requires trust and good communication.
7. Sharpen the saw: rinse, reflect, and repeat.